What I learned about love III

Well, we kept dating and we sort of started talking about getting married and having kids and all that jazz.

My friends all approved, as did my parents when I dragged the poor man to Easter at my Gramma’s house.

He was kind hearted, gentle, and his soul was at least as scarred as mine. Which means we understood a great deal about each other without having to say anything.

We had a lot in common and often thought similarly. We had similar interests, a similar sense of humor, etc, etc.

In short, we were completely compatible and complimentary to each other. He’s more logical, I’m more intuitive. We’re both Aquarians, but I have enough Capricorn to keep us both stable.

Our birthdays are 23 hours and 53 minutes apart. Yeah. That kind of match.

So here I am, learning how to allow myself to love and trying to hold it in and letting it slip out anyway, terrified I’ve gone and scared him off, and still loving him.

And I’m realizing just how well I’m doing at this whole everything is coming from a place of love thing. I’m seeing ┬ámore readily that Love is the origin of all emotions, even fear, and I’m enjoying it all. Even the huge amount of nerves I would get regularly when I was around him.

And then we ended up pregnant. No idea how. I was on birth control. We had been using other protection as well. It was one time with only one form of protection and bam we were pregnant. We wanted to try for kids a year or so later.

I mean yeah we’re older, 35, but still. We wanted to get out of some of our debt, maybe travel a little. Then get married, settle down somewhere, and then have kids.

But of course God, and babies, have different timelines. So I got pregnant. And I’m wondering how this is going to work. How the hell am I going to take care of myself, nurture my relationship with my husband, and take care of a baby?

Well, I need not have worried about a baby. Because at around 22 weeks we discovered we were having twins. So of course that made me way more anxious about taking care of everyone.

I also couldn’t stop smiling. Neither could he. And it still hasn’t really fully sunk in. They’re 8 months old this month and we still stop and look at them, then at each other and say, “Wait. There’s two of them?!”

 

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