Well, I was actually reaching a point where I was happy to wake up. I thought I was really getting somewhere. And I really was. But it wasn’t the end. And I knew deep inside that there was more to come. I just couldn’t figure out what.
I mean look at what all I had gone through. I had found the depths of the pain that ruled my life and things were changing like crazy. It was still a lot of work, but I was changing. I was smiling and I meant it. I was seeing the good things in life. My thoughts were shifting from negative to positive.
I had watched The Secret in massage school. It taught me a lot. But I couldn’t get past the idea that now and then, I had to allow for reality. Just thinking positively wasn’t going to change things if I wasn’t actually on the energy frequency I was trying to attract. All of me had to be on that level, or close to it. If I wanted something too far above where I was inside then it just wouldn’t come to fruition until I started vibrating on a level similar to what I wanted.
I also started to understand that other people could affect what I wanted. Their positive or negative could influence my positive and negative. Thankfully I had my shields fairly well developed and was working on them all the time. So other people’s energies didn’t affect me like they used to. But I started to see quite clearly that other’s could still create problems.
Positive thinking is great. But in truth I believe a person has to allow for the negative. Negative is not bad. It is a balanced part of life. Negative is just a lower frequency of energy. It can be a break from higher vibrations and it can help healing to happen. If negative is never acknowledged, it is never worked with. It is constantly pushed down and that hurts us more than anything.
So I found that my new life was really my old life, or the one I would have had all along if I had been supported in developing into the person I was meant to be all along.
And I also found, as I attempted to be positive more often, that I still had a lot of negative that needed to be looked at.
The biggest thing on the list was learning to truly love myself. And this has been going on for about two and a half years now. And I think I might be getting the hang of it.