This climb would be infinitely more intricate and delicate. It required a level of commitment to myself and my Self that I had simply been preparing for earlier. I had to learn, quickly, about the energetic body.

If you have no knowledge of how intricate this area of a human is, I’ll try to explain. Take everything you know about the nervous system, brain, nerves, axons, dendrites, myelin, etc, and multiply it by about a million times. The energetic body is more complicated than that. It’s kind of ridiculous.

I figured out that everything vibrates on a different frequency, and those frequencies somehow manage to interact and interconnect. And somehow they manage to do it without destroying everything.

I also started to put together a few things I had known but hadn’t understood. For instance, as a Mormon I’ve been taught all my life that the Love of God is in and through all things. A very intelligent man in one of my classes once mentioned that scientists have found an all pervasive substance that is, literally, everywhere.

It incrementally started to dawn on me that the Love of God is in and through me. This started on a very deep level. Deeper than the cells. It was energetic.

So I started meditating. It was one of those stop and start things for me. I would sit and try to meditate, only to find myself unable to or that I’d be done in like two minutes. And you know what? I was ok with that. My teacher actually told us to start with two minutes of breathing and see where we’d go from there.

So I did. Step by tiny step, I learned to meditate. Before I knew it I was under for an hour and a half at a time. And I felt some of my exhaustion lifting.

I opened myself up to meeting my spirit guides and guardians. Whomever wanted to show up. I met an arabian horse named Alexis first and foremost. She is lovely. Flea-bitten grey with deep limpid brown eyes. Full of love and snark. Reminds me of me now. But then I was just grateful to have the validation that I really wasn’t alone. That beings on the energetic/spiritual plane really were there and helping me.

I got to know her pretty well. She helped me take care of certain pieces of myself. My seven year old especially loved spending time with her in a lovely quiet field. They’d play for a bit and then lie in the grass and just enjoy the peace and healing.

This allowed me to dissociate in a completely new way. I was no longer stepping out of myself into an unknown place. I was stepping aside inside myself and finding peace and healing. Which would have struck me as strange, but by this point, I was used to how odd things could be inside me.

I met a black cat named Calyx. Who is also very loving and snarky. She would help me clean wounds. You know, cat saliva and all that. She would help clear up the oozing areas and supply healing and companionship.

I also met many people on the spiritual/energetic plane that were not there to help me move forward. One, I know her only as the muse of silence, helped me keep my mouth shut. I had to dismiss her before I could truly start to speak. I also met my demon. The one assigned to me. I began to recognize moments in my life where his presence had greatly affected me. I became very desirous to protect myself from such an influence.

I became as picky about people on these other planes as I am about humans. And the beauty of this experiences was that now I had a whole network of supporters, teachers, protectors, guides, guardians, archangels, etc. to get to know. So I started to get to know them. And they taught me many things I needed to know.

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