Learning to Love

Learning to Love Posted on July 22, 2014by ajoval Well, I had to start somewhere and it seemed the best place to truly start learning this was to go to the one person I knew loved me. The thing is, I pulled away from people all the time. I never allowed anyone to care about me or Read More…

New Life?

New Life? Posted on July 17, 2014by ajoval Well, I was actually reaching a point where I was happy to wake up. I thought I was really getting somewhere.  And I really was. But it wasn’t the end. And I knew deep inside that there was more to come. I just couldn’t figure out what. I mean Read More…

Free Posted on July 15, 2014by ajoval Finally free. And that thought reverberated through every aspect of my being every time I healed from some deep trauma.Every time I let go of someone or something or an experience. I was free and becoming more free all the time. The new problem became finding and developing aspects of Read More…

Spirits

  Spirits Posted on May 26, 2014by ajoval I would often feel someone touching me growing up. But no one was around. I had a few dreams I recall that were absolutely terrifying because they involved demented or evil spirits. I also recall many instances in my life where I have been directed, guided, or physically controlled Read More…

Energy

Energy Posted on May 12, 2014by ajoval This climb would be infinitely more intricate and delicate. It required a level of commitment to myself and my Self that I had simply been preparing for earlier. I had to learn, quickly, about the energetic body. If you have no knowledge of how intricate this area of a human Read More…

School

School Posted on May 11, 2014by ajoval On days where I felt particularly strong, (A.K.A. manic) I would look at the cliff face behind me and decide I could make it to the next ledge. And I would start climbing and make it and it got easier, but also harder. Easier because I had better coping tools Read More…

Resting

Resting Posted on May 9, 2014by ajoval This whole process spanned a good year and a half to three years. Somewhere in here I managed to find out that I could accept some of the things that happened to me, even though I can’t recall most of them. I learned to accept the fact that I was Read More…

God

God Posted on May 2, 2014by ajoval I had cussed God out liberally, for hours at a time, multiple times a day, for about four months in a row. It was a step in the process I had to go through. Because I was too terrified to place the blame back where it belonged. I knew I Read More…

Coping

Coping Posted on May 1, 2014by ajoval I still refused to integrate them into a whole. I was unsure how to go about this. I started studying emotions. Emotional intelligence was an interesting read, which I still haven’t finished. The Spirit Anatomy of Emotions is another interesting read I have yet to finish. I attempted to read Read More…

Heart II

Heart II Posted on April 30, 2014by ajoval I got a packet from a book called “Growing up Again” by Jean Illsley Clarke from my therapist and I started implementing some of what was on there. I found an infant self and started to fulfill some of her needs. It was difficult to learn how to be Read More…